I love you! Forever&Always

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for English. So I was looking through old blogs that I've written for inspiration. I got my inspiration alright!... just not for my paper ;)

Isn't it amazing how we can never imagine where we will be in the future? 

Amazing to me that we can't predict anything; 

it will always be different than we expected.

How is it that what I've always waited for is finally here and somehow, 

it feels different than I expected. 

I think that's the point. 

I wasn't trying so hard to find it so it fell right into my lap!

When we ride roller coasters; climb mountains & crash into valleys; when we are tempted by darkness but return to the light of day.. does God feel no change? He's unwavering and unchanging and everlasting.  So does He just have the same amount of adoration for us all the time no matter what we do? 

YES.

Humans aren't capable of that kind of unconditional love. I think some parents are able to come close to understanding but if He is the parent of all those parents, then wouldn't He still trump our most daring, fearless, risk-taking love? 

YES. 

Constant. 

con·stant  

/ˈkänstənt/

Adjective Occurring continuously over a period of time.

Noun A situation or state of affairs that does not change.

Synonyms steady - permanent - continual - stable - steadfast

Is there anything in life that is truly and absolutely "constant"?

....

Not in mine. 

Everything comes and goes eventually. 

How many people have promised to love, promised to provide, promised to stay, promised to keep promises? 

How many have proven themselves worthy?

Can you think of the biggest thing someone has done for you to show you they love you?

...

Flowers?

A birthday present?

A ring?

What about willingly dying for you?

And then asking the Father for forgiveness FOR you, without you even asking for it yourself.

can there ever be a greater way to say "I love you"?

Being ready.

This morning I was reading The Divine Mentor, by Wayne Cordeiro, a book we're going through as part of our youth Bible study. I really enjoy this book so far because it will tell a story, and then relate it to the Bible, really putting things in perspective (:

In the first chapter, Cordeiro tells the story of Martha and Mary waiting for Jesus to come visit them in their home. He imagines how Martha and Mary were probably scurrying about their house, making sure everything was in order and prepared for their friend and Lord to come visit them. When He arrives, Mary instantly puts down all her chores and tasks and just falls to the feet of her King to worship Him and hear all that He has to say, while Martha continues cleaning, and cooking, and working to make sure everything is finished. Martha becomes frustrated with the fact that while she continues working her butt off, her sister is just sitting? That hardly seems fair. When Martha comes to Jesus and says "Lord, this is unfair that she isn't doing anything, tell her to come help me", Jesus replies to Martha: "Martha, you are worried about so many things, when only one thing is necessary, and Mary has chosen the good part." 

(Luke 10:38-42)

Mary has chosen the good part.. she understands that while it is important to do things in order to prepare for the Lord, once He gets there, it doesn't matter anymore.

While it is necessary to do things FOR God, all things are second TO God and our time with Him. 

 This makes me think of any time Kalli and I are having friends over, we too are getting things ready, cleaning, and doing laundry.. wanting everything to look okay for our guests. I can't imagine how I would feel getting ready for JESUS to come visit me.. would He play Dance Central with me on my Xbox Kinect? I would be running around the house, sweeping, and vacuuming, and doing laundry. Sweeping away the cobwebs and vacuuming the dirt and dust that makes me unclean, letting Him wash the sin from my heart so I can be dressed in righteousness. But when we don't know when He is coming.. we have to be ready all the time. So if Jesus was coming over tonight at 8:00 to carve pumpkins with me.. is my heart ready? Am I dressed in righteousness, and am I ready to put down everything I'm doing to just sit at His feet and learn? (lucky for me, I cleaned today). 

In a similar way, the worries and stresses of each day should be dropped immediately so that we can come sit at the feet of our King and He will reward us saying "You have chosen the good part, the one necessary part of your day, not the worrying and bothering of the things of the world."

Thought number two:

Beer with Jesus, by Thomas Rhett. 

I think Jesus would be super good at Beer Pong.. 

Whether its sitting at the feet of the Lord like Martha, or taking time to have a beer with Jesus, I don't think He really minds either way.. as long as He gets some time to sit and be with you. 

Divine Romance

Oh how we all long for a romance.. a romance to just be swept up off our feet, saved by the hero, be adored.. 

How many of us are living that life?

Relationships are complicated, painful, treacherous. 

So why gamble on unreliable men when you have a sure bet your heart will be safe with Jesus? He LONGS even more than you to have a romance with you. He wants that full on, risk taking, adoring relationship that you won't find from any other guy. 

He wants intimacy with you, honesty, absolute truth. 

He wants you to tell him your deepest darkest secrets.. He already knows them, but He wants you to share them with Him anyway. 

He hates it when you cry, but He still listens. He hears our cries (Exodus 3:7, Deuteronomy 26:7)

You never leave His hands. 

He holds you so tightly. (Psalm 63:8)

He heals your broken heart, your open wounds, and turns your weaknesses into strengths. 

Psalm 34:18: The Lord is near those with broken hearts, he delivers those who are discouraged. 

He cries when you cry. 

Madly in love with you. Isn't that what we're all asking for?

Then why don't we reach out to Him and take what He's offering?

If you're weak, He'll give you strength.

If you're scared, He'll give you courage.

If you're broken, He will rebuild you.

Homesick for Heaven.

Just as I am reminding myself not to be attached to the things in this world (since we can't take them with us when we go) my iPhone gets wet and dies.. losing my pictures and notes (my notes are pretty stinkin meaningful to me). 

So I'm bummed.. but like I told my parents.. "Its okay that I lost all my bible notes.. cause in Heaven, I'll just live the bible!"

I like that.. 

I can't wait for Heaven.. sometimes I get Homesick for Heaven. 

I just finished reading Heaven is For Real about a four year old boy who has an emergency appendectomy (like Madeline!) and in the months and years that followed he shares more and more details about his trip to Heaven and back. 

Its a fantastic book and I don't doubt one single line of it, its all true! (If you read it, which I recommend you do, there are millions of things that prove that the boy couldn't possibly be making it up. Even his own parents doubt him at first but over time he proves he experienced Heaven first hand!)

I could go on and on about how ridiculously good the book was, but you'll just have to read it for yourself. This blog is about losing yourself. Ha!

Things in this world that promise happiness...... :

Fame&Fortune

Attraction: You're rich, everyone loves you, and you're always in the spotlight. 

Reality: You've got a bunch of stuff you don't even use, you question which friends actually care about you, you're sick of people knowing everything about you. 

Getting high and/or drunk

Attraction: You're on cloud 9, suddenly you're the life of the party, and you've never been happier.

Reality: Your highs don't last that long, your body starts to look like crap, the more you do it, the more you do it, and you feel like shit. 

P.S. There's no weed in Heaven, and I'm not sure about Hell, but I'm pretty sure they don't budget for that. 

STUFF.

Attraction: You've got the latest and greatest everything, 4G, touch screen, Netflix, Twitter, you name it. Not to mention the new 7 series, life doesn't get any better. 

Reality: Stuff breaks, payments are more than paychecks, they just came out with the new one and you're out of the loop. 

P.S., when it comes down to it, REAL friends don't care what kind of stuff you have. If they do, they probably don't care about YOU. 

When Jesus said, "take up your cross, deny yourself, and follow me" He didn't mean.. "Sell your house, trade in your car for an arc, make sure you pack your phone charger" ... NO. He literally meant,"leave EVERYTHING behind, and follow Me. Deny everything you have known in this world, so that I can give you everything that you can have in My world, in the Kingdom of God!"

Just after Jesus says this in Matthew 16, He goes on to say "For whoever will save his life shall lose it: and whoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?"

Basically.. If you try to save yourself, you'll sink. But if you throw your hands up and admit you can't do it alone, and let Jesus take the wheel, (thank you Carrie Underwood) then He'll save your life FOR you, no work involved. 

What are you going to gain if you buy everything in this world, and you're super full with your phone, computer, stereo, house, iPod, cars, boats, etc. and there is no more room for your own SOUL? Then what? Would you really rather have all of these things than an actual soul? The dictionary defines a soul as "a person's total self; the essence of a person; the actuality of a being."

So wouldn't that technically mean that if you lose your soul.. you are.. nothing, non-existent.. a waste of oxygen?

On the flip side, if you give up all these things that we THINK make us whole, and give it all to Jesus, then we can actually be whole, full, content.  What is worth trading your soul for? And after you trade your soul, do you wish you hadn't? Think about The Raven, by Edgar Allan Poe. He physically traded with Satan--his soul for money. Satan is always going to be quicker than you, OBVIOUSLY he wouldn't make a deal if he didn't have some way of profiting from it! 

Jesus however, is the opposite. He gave His life, so we could be rich. Does that mean you have a sack of gold in your hand? No. That means you have a sack of GOD in your hand. He will equip us with everything we need in order to follow Him, completely world-free. If we put down our possessions, take up our cross, and follow Jesus, then by the time we get to Heaven.... We'll have the iPhone77... S. Does it get any better than that?(:

Danish parties!

I love the way they do. Haha.
There is no legal drinking age in Denmark, but you can start buying at 16. Kids usually start drinking around 13. People host parties at their parents houses (while the parents are home) and kids (boys and girls) can spend the night or their parents pick them up at like 1,2, or 3 in the morning. 
When you're older, you drink at peoples' houses and then go out to bars or clubs, but since we were at a friends house in the country, people stayed there for the night.
So we all get there and he (Elias) made dinner for everyone and we all ate and drank together and then cleaned up the kitchen and continued drinking. I asked him about his parents, like if they were out of town, if they cared if we partied, etc. His mom was out of town and it was the first time he had had a party while she wasn't there, but she was okay with it, she just wanted him to be careful and told him he could call his grandma or uncle if there were any problems. As he was telling me, his grandma showed up to say hi and see how things were going, (I thought it was hilarious). I explained that at parties in the U.S., if someone's grandma showed up.. BUSTED. haha. 
So she helped with dishes, said goodnight, and went home!
There were 18 of us total, and 7 got picked up by parents around 1, and then the rest stayed the night.
In the morning, he made breakfast for everyone. 
In general, it was very different than America, since we can't legally drink, let alone, have parents KNOW you're partying and still let you. Very interesting. But look! Nothing bad happened, we're all responsible adults, hehe (;
Yay Denmark!

Coming Home.

I can't believe it. 
Its so close, I can taste it, I can smell it... (:
HOME.


Its been 87 days
Its been 13 Saturdays
Its been roughly 280 meals
Its been a call home every Sunday
Its been Nutella, bread, chocolate
Its been 13 books of the bible
Its been 84 adorable French children who loved me
Its been online KLove
Its been Charles Dickens Quiz Nights
Its been sleeping on a bench in an airport
Its been seeing my best friend waiting for me
Its been 585 pictures of Europe
Its been friends from Germany, New York, Italy, Denmark
Its been 13 cities


There's no place like home.
I can't believe that I'm already making plans with friends back home.
I can already picture my parents standing in the airport waiting for me... (:
Its gone so fast and yet it seems like forever since I've been home.


Soon I'll have my parents, my bike, my sweet Zoe, my car, my job, my favorite kids at work, my best friends, my familiar places, Starbucks, my beautiful church family.... (:
I am so blessed..

First time sleeping on a bench.

My travel adventure started out in Bordeaux, of course, with my host mom. We checked my bags in and walked around a bit, it was a very quiet day in the airport so that was nice, no stress (:
We said goodbye and I headed toward my plane, I got lucky cause there were three seats and no one between me and the lady to my left! It was fun to see Bordeaux with a bird's eye view (:
Then I remembered my host mom had given me a little box I had to wait to open til I was on the plane! It was a little gold elephant charm, I can't wait to find a chain for it.
Landed in Paris Orly West, on time, and headed toward baggage claim. I saw a couple eye-ing my bag and she pulled it off the thing, I was nervous she was going to leave with it but when she realized it wasn't hers, she threw it-literally threw it- back on the belt, thanks lady. 


Got both my giant suitcases, pushed them around like a macho man. Followed signs to the shuttle for Orly Sud (there's four buildings for the one airport). While approaching the shuttle I heard two cute ladies asking a question in English so I asked them if they had a question (first English face-to-face conversation in 2 months!) they were so cute.. typical old British ladies. 
Wandered Orly Sud for a bit then found a bench and called my mama with my free 15 minutes of Wifi (:


I had two hours before I could check in my bags, so I wanted to waste time, and I saw a sign for McDee's and that they had free Wifi, 1st floor.
I hesitated.. the entire time I was in France, never once did I got to Macdo (as they call it) because I didn't want to encourage the stereotype they have of Americans. They think we LOVE McDonald's but honestly, they're obsessed. But I figured it was worth it to have free wifi so I took my luggage and myself onto the escalator and up to the first floor, come to find out you have to take another escalator to get to McDonald's and you can't take your luggage up the escalators.. I laughed at myself for how much I had wanted to go! Ate a really good chicken sandwich instead and had an Orangina (probably the last for a while (: )

Weirdest thing of my life: The airport was completely FILLED with black people dressed in long dresses and robes, I think they were all going to some sort of religious festival but I have no idea what was going on, I was literally 1/700 white people in this building. 


A guy told me to go to gate 134 for checking in my bags, so I went down the escalator and asked, and it wasn't even the right airline, but then I saw on the screen that it was gate 40, so I went back upstairs, and of course, it was exactly where I had just been. 
Waited in line, and then you know how even when its not a big deal, you still get nervous to step up to the counter?
Stepped up, handed her my ticket. 
-nothing-
Beezy: Your PASSPORT PLEASE. 
I handed it to her, more awkward silence, she asked how many bags I had, I said 2. 
Just looked at her computer screen, rubbed her forehead, acted like it was the most difficult thing she's ever done. She called someone for backup and I started getting nervous that there was a problem with having two bags.
She gave me back my passport and papers and told me to pay for my second bag upstairs. 
I went upstairs and was not sure what she meant, because there was nowhere to pay. Asked around, didn't find it, went back downstairs, but I wasn't going to ask Beezy lady again so I found another desk for Norwegian air, and the lady was very confused as to why I didn't have a ticket from the other lady, Oh la la, ends up, it was her fault so my baggage was free, can't complain! (:


My flight leaving Paris was magical, seeing the city at night, and seeing the Eiffel tower from the sky was amazing, a perfect way to say Au Revoir to France! 
And got lucky again, no one between me and the nice french girl to my left. I curled up and read the book I bought in the airport, then only English one. Danielle Steel. haha!


Arrived in Copenhagen at 11:30 at night and wandered in. It was very empty, with everything closed, very quiet, and lonely. I didn't have to get my bags so that's nice, but I just walked around a bit, not really knowing what to do. 
Then I looked at the map so I knew what to do for the next morning, I would have to take a bus to a different Terminal but they didn't start until 5:30 am.
I found a bench, an lied down to read my book. People passed but it didn't bother me. 
Eventually the entire airport was empty, and there was me, the luggage belt, and maybe like.. one janitor. 12:30 I tried to close my eyes. 
Literally the weirdest night of my life. Between people walking past me, trying to avoid everything by hiding in my coat, hearing a guy screaming in the middle of the night, and trying 8 different positions to be comfortable, I probably got about an hour and a half of real sleep. At 5:00 the first flight came in so I woke up and acted like it was no big deal that I had just slept on a bench. 
Took a chance on the door I walked through, and it was the right one! (:
Figured out where I needed to go next and then took time to go to Starbucks... first time in 3 months.. couldn't have been happier (:
And not too tired!
Headed toward the bus stop, it was a beautiful morning before the sun had come up, went through customs and then played cards and listened to music for an hour before boarding my plane. I also found a pay phone and told Mama I was good (:
My plane coming into Aalborg... I was shaking I was so excited to see Karina, then land out the window was beautiful and green bordering the ocean, and you couldn't have slapped the smile off my face!
I saw my best friend and ran to hug her, and hugged her mom as we met for the first time! 
I've got the next 9 days to live it up for the end of my trip in Europe! 
Then back to the airport life to get home, but no big, airports aren't bad enough to stress me out when I'm so stoked to get home (: